


Shitty Dad Award

by AglaeSmoak



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Big Reveal, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Interview gone wrong, Klaus spills some tea, Light Angst, Luther Being Less of an Asshole, Not Beta Read, Original Character(s), Paparazzi, Reggie is an asshole, Reggie is not happy, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Reveal of child abuse, The siblings come back during an interview, Time Travel, and Klaus is p i s s e d, because klaus, dramatic writing, sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 11:59:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18410198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AglaeSmoak/pseuds/AglaeSmoak
Summary: The siblings come back to their young bodies... in front of dozens of paparazzi and journalists.Klaus spills some tea.





	Shitty Dad Award

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo... I had this idea of what would happened if they came back to their young bodies after the time travel... during an interview. And this is what came out of it. I'm lazy, and english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for the eventual grammatical torture.

On 14th of September 2005, one of the most bizarre events took place on live on national television, in front of a museum that had just been saved from a hostage situation by the 5 remaining members of the well known Umbrella Academy. As usual, dozens of paparazzi had gathered in front of the museum to take their best shot at the young superheroes while police officers were in charge of keeping hundreds of people begging for an autograph from invading the place. The five soon-to-be 16 years old kids were, as usual after one of their intervention, drowning under the flashes of the journalists, while Samantha Baldwinn, a reporter for the CNN, one of the most viewed news channels all around the United States of America, was on the first line to interrogate them. As usual after a mission, Ben was drenched in the blood of the criminals he had to kill, quietly trying to not hyperventilate in front of the journalists, while as usual, Klaus was next to him, smiling for the camera and firmly holding his hand, his chuckles white, not really knowing if he was trying to anchor his brother to the land of the livings with the strength of his hold or himself to prevent from drowning under the weight of the newly deads. And as usual, Luther was posing, sending blinks left and right, while Allison was answering all the answers of the journalist despite her sore throat.

While Number Three was laughing at one of the reporter's jokes, one about using her power on her father to get something she wanted, (even though last time she had tried that, Reginald Hargreeves had made her wear a muzzle for an entire week as a punishment, but Samantha Baldwinn could not possibly know that). As Allison was about to answer, she suddenly interrupted herself, blinking with a strange air of confusion while her siblings abandoned what they were doing, looking as lost as her. The reporter was still laughing at her own joke, not immediately noticing the change.

-“Number Three?” she asked when she noticed, “Are you alright ?”

Seemingly from nowhere, a blue blinding light appeared englobing the five siblings. A sixth silhouette appeared through the light before revealing the form of a weakened Five, who would have fallen to the floor if it wasn't for the quick reflexes of Diego who got him before he even touched the floor, before flinching himself. The light immediately vanished, as if nothing had happened, even the sudden reappearance of one the siblings, missing for three years, wearing the same face as he did when he disappeared. The siblings looked pale and dizzy, flinching and holding against each other. Allison fell to the floor with a loud noise.

-“Are you alright, kids?”Asked the reporter with a worried face, helping a young Allison to stand up.

The change in atmosphere hadn't escaped to anyone in the public. Allison fought against he felling of cotton in her ears, looking around, not really knowing where she was.

-“Holy shit”, she heard Diego grumbling, “you did it Five...”  
-“Minus point for the ride, old man, 1/10 would not do it again.”  
-“What a surprise, I'm covered in blood...” deadpanned Ben  
-“Ben, you're alive!”  
-“Why do I feel like my head is gonna explode...”moaned Luther, holding his head in pain before finally noticing his very human looking hands and staring at them in wonder.  
Five was too busy being in a near state of unconsciousness to answer with his usual sass.

Allison looked towards the public, where she immediately found her father glaring at them suspiciously. Besides him was Vanya, who he hadn't even noticed had fallen to the floor, and was now scrubbing her eyes like she was struggling to wake up from a bad dream.

-“Guys...”called Diego, “I don't think now is the right moment to talk about the ups and downs of time travel.”

That was enough to take the siblings back to their current situation.

-“Are... Are you alright kids?” Asked the journalist in front of them, once che recovered from the surprise of seeing Five suddenly reappear in front of national television. God, this was gonna make for such a good scoop, “Can you tell us what just happened ? Five, where have you been all those years ? Did I just hear you talk about time travel ? Are you happy to finally be reunited with your family ?”

Before anyone of his siblings had time to totally come to their senses, Klaus, with the agility and reflexes of the veteran he was, snatched the mic from the journalists hands, to everyone's horror.

-“Ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between, we are all here reunited today to deliver a prize!”

-“Klaus, what the hell are you doing !” hissed Luther, back on his feet, ready to scold someone, anyone really.  
-“Oh boy...” sighed Ben.  
-“Diego, do something!” Allison told to her brother.  
-“Oh hell no, I want to see what this idiot is gonna do.”

-“What prize, you are all probably now asking yourselves, ” continued Klaus unfazed by his siblings, “It is now with great honor, and dare I say, a great feeling of accomplishment that I deliver the prize for the most shitty, assholish dad that could ever be to... tadaa, sir Reginald Hargreeves!”

Klaus applauded to himself, while the journalist kept filming him despite the voice of Hargreeves, threatening to sue them if they keft filming.

-“Thank you, Reggie, we definetely wouldn't be here with alsmost thirty years of unresolved trauma, anger issues and severe PTSD, without you.”

Klaus started walking toward his so-called father, beaming under the flashes, a hand againt his chest for good mesure.

“Oh thank you, Reggie, for all those years of great parenting, teaching us how to best kill a human being before even learning how to talk! Who knows, knowing how to gauge an eye could come in handy I guess. And if we didn't know how to behave?” 

A delirious laught broke the atmosphere, while the cameras kept shooting at him, Samantha Balwinn directing her team to film the scene.

-“Don't worry, Reggie had the solution for everything! Everybody knows that locking a child in whatever dark place at your disposition is the best effective way to unlock its unknown potential, am I right Reggie? Or forcing him into a fucking camisole for hours to see if could still teleport without moving his hand, don't you think Five? Five? Oh, nevermind, Five isn't conscious anymore. Diego, what about those hours locked in a tank full of water? Was it worth it?”

Klaus easily dodged a embarassed Luther, trying to take back the mic, and immediately giving up when Ben, of all people, put a calming hand on his shoulder.

-“Let's not forget about little Vanya's case, here, who must be sooo grateful too, for keeping her power a secret, drugging her to prevent her from using her powers, isolating her and destroying every inch of self esteem she could have for your own benefit. You really outdid yourself on that one, Reggie! Too bad you won't be there to see the result, in what? Maybe 15 years from now, give it or take, when she blows up the moon?”

Poor Vanya looked at Klaus life a deer in the headlight, and if it wasn't for the drugs in her system, the whole scene would probably go very differently.

-“Don't worry, Vanya, you can't exactly be hold responsible right now, you still have at least a decade of repressed anger to go before blowing up all over again. You go girl! It wasn't a great loss, the world is shitty anyway.”

-“Jesus christ, Klaus, stop talking!”

-“Oh hell no, dear Number One, I still have so much to thank for...Thank you for all the time I had to help Ben cleaning the blood stuck in his hair and under his nails, because he was to shook to the core to do it himself, bacause you, dear old daddy, forced him to kill some random animal for training ! Hey, Diego, remember that stray dog you brought home when we were 6 and liked so much that you tried to hide it you room and who just, disappeared one day?»

Klaus laughed maniacally.

-“That was Ben's first kill! Dad made him do it, and then locked him in his room for, and I quote, whining too much about it! Ha ! Well, at least the muzzle came in handy for every time Allison or you wouldn't shut up...»

-“Number Four, you will stop this non-sense immediately...”

The voice of Reginald Hargreeves was covered by the questions of the journalists.

-“Let me finish my speech first, Reggie. Let the whole world discover what a good father you are, not that you even allowed us to call you dad! Or should I call you sir? Sorry, I forget sometime, that tends to happens after years of numbing the nightmares and flashbacks with drugs, because you, dear old daddy, didn't find any better than locking me up in a fucking mausoleum for hours to force me to control my power! Not that it even worked, am I right? Look at me! I'm still shit at controlling my power!”

At this point, Klaus wasn't even laughing anymore, his voice louder and louder in a crescendo of anger, years of pain and frustration almost tangible in the air. It was Diego who finally stopped him, carefully taking the mic from his shaking hands, with a worried and slightly pained look on his face.

-“That's it, buddy. I think you've done enough.” he said, the words odd coming from the mouth of 16 year old looking boy.

The tension in Klaus body seemed to vanish as he lost his hold on the mic, like he was drained of energy. The flashes of the cameras were suddenly too much, and so he hide behind a protective Ben, while they all started walking toward the car that was waiting for them to bring them back to the mansion after every mission.

The sight of Reginald Hargreeves, an unreadable expression on his face, made them flinch.

-“Sir, what to you have to say about the accusations of child abuse from Number Four?”  
-“Is it true, sir?”  
-“Does Number Seven have any power? Why hide them?”  
-“Do you denie the accusations?”

Hargreeves carefully ignored each and every question thrown at him, while the team entered the car, Luther being the last. A persistent Samantha Baldwinn was already next to him, holding a new mic against his lips.

-“Number One! Number One! As the leader of the team, do you have anything to say about the accusations of your brother against your adoptive father?”

Luther puffed his chest, and readied himself to answer on his father behalf, after years of being used to glorify each of his father steps. It would be so easy to just overlook Klaus accusations as the rambling of a junkie, eager for attention. A look toward Ben, resuscitated after years of being dead as the result of their fathers orders and slowly shaking his head with pleadful eyes, made him suddenly stop. A look toward Klaus tired expression, trembling hands, and Diego showing him how to breath made him hesitate. A look toward Allison, hugging a Vanya in tears, who couldn't stop apologizing even after they left her trapped in a bunker, draped around an unconscious Five, made him shameful. An a final look toward Reginald Hargreeves, glaring at him with eyes full of expectations and threats, and not an ounce of love, made him firm in his new resolve in never letting himself be blinded by the poor excuse of a parent he was.

-“Congrat's, Dad. You really deserve that prize.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment. Or don't.


End file.
